"Even the hobos had suits." -- Sahl
"I give her 2 points, but my boner gives her 50." -- anonymous
"All of a sudden my brain is gone. Sharon... Sharon!." -- Sahl, at RBV Sunday
"Let's get bombed and go to BioLife." -- Ted, at RBV Sunday
"Anal glaucoma Monday." -- Keith, at RBV Sunday
"I put my Zinger in your yogurt." -- Tim

"Tim, you didn't finish all of your shot." -- Sahl
"That's okay, I'm good..." -- Tim

"Sahl: I'm going to change my guitar strings for tomorrow
"Tim: Is it that time of year?"
"Chris: You didn't replacement them all tonight already?"

"I don't think we should have anymore shots..." -- Tim
"...Rick, here's your shot..." -- satan

"I can't wait to get a corndog in me." -- sizzle
"My bush is itchy." -- Flower girl about her head
"It's not your fault -- it happened in the womb." -- Tim
"Tell me a story... tell me a story about a stripper giving you money..." -- Sahl, cell msg
"If it's black and has a skull on it, I'll get it..." -- Drunk Sound Guy
"Chris... what room are you guys in? I'm... I think I'm at your hotel, but I'm not sure... give me a call" -- Sahl, cell msg
"Hey Chris, Rick's mad. Fu*kin Reba McEntire just piss*d him off big time... so you better bring us some donuts if you get this message" -- Sahl, cell msg
"There's 22 people with the no. 'J'... that's just too many" -- Sahl going thru his cell
"Shots!... they're NOT clear..." -- Tim
"She's got a shirt that says it all... R&L rough and loose" -- Brian
"My eyes are blurry, I'm gonna have to use my hands" -- Brian
"Is that the super grand chancellor guy?" -- thb
"I get more girls at your shows than any other band" -- Nate
"I'm getting drunk just watching you guys" -- Sly
"The curse of the Timmys' is getting to me..." -- Tim at Uphill
"Don't worry... I'll be smooth... check this out..." -- satan
"Really Tina... are you gonna have a party?" -- Lenny
"I don't want to pat myself on the back, but those chicks were diggin me." -- Rick
"You bring the boobs, I'll bring the love." -- satan
"There's going to be a hurricane in my pants later" -- satan
"Chris! Do you remember Steve's name?" -- thb
"Chris isn't gay... he cried the whole time I fu*k3d him." -- Brad
"I wear this hat like a merit badge" -- Tim
"I'm waitin' for the cops to leave. I ain't too drunk to drive, I'm just too drunk to pass a breathalizer" -- Brad
"If someone has a chest cold and someone else has chest pain, who do you help first? The girl with the big tits, of course!" -- Rock Star No. 1
"...your brother has nice facial features... which is why he looks good as a woman"
"Yeah, I even had to grab his ass when he was in drag that Halloween" -- anonymous
"I can't help it if girls are psycho... I give em all a chance" -- THB
"I'll give you ten dollars to lick that poll." -- Ponch